The Sacred Body

Right before I left for Iowa to attend The Examined Life Conference, I saw my chiropractor. She has helped me for the past year recover from a concussion and whiplash, so I am in deep gratitude to her. But after this particular adjustment, I had a problem. As I lay on my back, she suddenly pulled [...]

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More Levine on Trauma

Here is some hopeful news from trauma specialist Dr. Peter Levine from his book Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma. “Trauma evokes a biological response that needs to remain fluid and adaptive, not stuck and maladaptive. A maladaptive response is not necessarily a disease, but a dis-ease–a discomfort that can range from mild uneasiness to downright [...]

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On my Head

Here are two drawings I made when I was coping with Post-traumatic stress in the mid 1970s. I chose them because they convey some of what I’m feeling these days. Lying in bed at night, awaiting sleep, I am discovering an old breath pattern in which I hold my head and face rigid, especially my jaw. [...]

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Fear and fluidity: transforming trauma

I first heard of Emilie Conrad D’Oud and Continuum, a form of bodywork, years ago from my writing coach. When she read passages of my memoir manuscript, The Autobiography of a Sea Creature, about how I’d been taught to restrict my movements as a baby after surgery, she told me about D’Oud’s work. Since I’d [...]

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Fear Brain / Flower Brain

I was raised on fear: fear of falling, fear of drowning, fear of being snatched by a stranger luring me with candy. Fear of my father’s anger, fear of my mother’s rejection, fear of failing in school, fear of humiliation from classmates. Fear, fear, fear. Fear of being me–if I’m me, I won’t be loved; [...]

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Our “Fourth Quadrant”

Two weeks ago, I attended a storytelling workshop, Retracing Our Steps (But I forgot the bread crumbs), given by Dr. Hetty Rodenburg, a medical doctor from New Zealand. Her own personal story was one of the most moving and inspirational stories that she shared that day. Years ago, she had signed up for a workshop [...]

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Egg as Friend

Last week, ice-skating with a friend, I fell and hit my head. What an egg I got!  I’m a good skater and the fall was a big surprise. The next day, I felt light-headed and my vision was unfocused. My head was sore. I was ultra sensitive to light and had difficulty concentrating. I easily [...]

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Know Thyself. Heal Thyself.

Know Thyself. These two words have been said by many of the great sages, philosophers, and gurus. I want to modify this saying a bit for the purpose of this post. Know Thy Complete Self, strengths and talents as well as weaknesses–those messages we’ve learned about ourselves that diminish our confidence and power. When we understand [...]

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I Have to Keep Pinching Myself

I don’t know for sure whether I was given anesthesia for my pyloric stenosis surgery at 26 days old. I don’t know for sure that I was, instead, given  a form of curare, a drug that paralyzed my muscles so I wouldn’t fight. My hospital records are gone, kaput. I just know that: –I wake [...]

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Steps to Take on the Path to Ease and Joy

How can survivors of infant surgery and/or invasive medical procedures performed without anesthesia begin to move away from a lifetime of re-enacting symptoms of trauma and move toward a lifetime of experiencing health, fulfillment, and joy?  How can we get our pain, anger, and confusion out so that we can feel peace, clarity, and compassion? [...]

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