Time for a Nap

For the first time in my life, I took a nap. Yes, that’s right–the first time ever. As far back as I can remember, I have never napped. I would even go so far as to call myself nap-phobic. Napping was childish. Napping was silly. More honestly, I simply couldn’t do it though I’d tried. [...]

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Pinched, Twisted, Stitched

After meditation today, these questions came to me:  Who were those nurses who took care of me during my health crisis as an infant? What were their thoughts and prayers as they cared for me?  What could they tell me now about my infant self that would help me understand my challenges?  Had they seen me [...]

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“Mergulence”–A State of Unity

The word “mergulent” came to me today during meditation. I had been trying to relax but kept tensing up, so I asked my soul to help me: How can my body and soul be one?   Next thing I knew, I was traveling inside my body–actually moving effortlessly as in floating. I wasn’t seeing anything, just sensing [...]

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On the Right Track for Meditation

Each morning before meditation, I read inspirational material to set my mind on the right track. Lately, I’ve been re-reading Marianne Williamson’s book A Return to Love. Because of old somatic patterns linked to my infant surgery and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), I have a lot of resistance to sitting still in peace, allowing my soul to [...]

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What Survivors of Infant Trauma Need

People who’ve suffered trauma early in life often experience a difficult relationship with their bodies. We can feel like prisoners in our own skin. The pain was probably too much. Perhaps the way we were handled was traumatic. Maybe we were even forced into uncomfortable and restricting positions in order to undergo a surgery or [...]

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On my Head

Here are two drawings I made when I was coping with Post-traumatic stress in the mid 1970s. I chose them because they convey some of what I’m feeling these days. Lying in bed at night, awaiting sleep, I am discovering an old breath pattern in which I hold my head and face rigid, especially my jaw. [...]

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Healing from infant trauma: listening to my baby self

Do you want to be free? Do you want to overcome PTSD? In healing from pre-verbal trauma, unconscious material is allowed into consciousness. Breath habits are treasures of information, especially patterns of holding. Each day for a short time, I sit quietly, following my breathing and listening. Frightening emotions often emerge that have no basis in present [...]

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Magnolia blossom–the healing flower

While I am getting excellent care for my concussion from my chiropractor and my medical doctor, who is trained in craniosacral bodywork, I realized the other day that I needed to participate more directly in my healing. In drawing a magnolia flower and meditating on its image, I came to understand that I needed to [...]

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A Ceremony: Healing from Post-traumatic Stress

For those of us who’ve had a major trauma as babies and still suffer from post-traumatic stress (PTS) as adults, a ceremony may be in order–a ritual of some sort for the self that says, I am safe now and can live my body without fear. My body is a place of comfort. Each morning, [...]

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Fear Brain / Flower Brain

I was raised on fear: fear of falling, fear of drowning, fear of being snatched by a stranger luring me with candy. Fear of my father’s anger, fear of my mother’s rejection, fear of failing in school, fear of humiliation from classmates. Fear, fear, fear. Fear of being me–if I’m me, I won’t be loved; [...]

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